Dream Host: V8.09 September 2006

0. Introduction.
1. It's our birthday? Double the bandwidth, tenify the disk!
2. Shared + Dedicated? Shedicated!
3. Down with DRM? Up with Files! Forever!
4. RSS Feeds? The Discussion Board!
5. Who needs catch-alls? Not+you@dreamhost.com!
6. Transferring a .com? .net? You need an auth code!
7. Old Charities? New Charities!
8. Network problems? Fixed!
9. DHSOTM? DHSOTM!

########################################################################
0. Introduction.

Did you SEE that Table of Contents? Holy Cram-oly! Maybe I should do
newsletters like last month's more often! I don't know where all this
stuff came from, but I PROMISED something SUPER last month, and what
better chance to DELIVER something SUPER than by delivering LOTS of SO-
SO? It's the shotgun method of great web hosting features!

It's also like my mama always told me. She told me, "Son, better to do
lots of mediocre things than one thing that's really good. That way,
people will know you were trying, even if you are a little dumb."

That crazy Mama, she made me! Or maybe it was all my Papa, with his
failed shotgun method of birth control.

And uh, my apologies that there's NO TIME for a silly THEME this month,
I've got WAY too many average, run-of-the-mill, ho-hum features to plow
through!


########################################################################
1. It's our birthday? Double the bandwidth, tenify the disk!

So, what feature WAS I alluding to last month anyway? Could it that it's
now been NINE years since we registered dreamhost.com, and to celebrate
we've upped everybody's disk and bandwidth, AGAIN, wellll beyond the
realm of possible use: up to TEN times the disk (including growth rate)
and at LEAST double the bandwidth (also including weekly growth rate)!

And as usual, all existing customers get it too, and you don't even have
to do anything to upgrade. It's ... already ... happened.

Anyway, that puts us at, um. Er. I'm not sure. A lot. Check it out:

http://www.dreamhost.com/hosting.html

But WAIT! Is that a new site design for dreamhost.com I see? And what's
that on the main page? Pictures of employees and RSS feeds? GRADIENTS?

Amazing! What version of the web would you even CONSIDER a site like
this? It's gotta be more than 1.5, possibly even 1.9..

This is some kind of killer upgrade, for sure. Possibly even SUPER.

And for those of you who say, "SCREW all the features, ALL I *really*
want is website, email, and database stability!" I say, "You are smart."


########################################################################
2. Shared + Dedicated? Shedicated!

Okay smarties. If you're so SMART, and you hate features, why do you
keep hosting with us? Who's SMART NOW?! Don't worry, you still are.

Because we're half-way back to dedicated servers! And everybody KNOWS
dedicated servers are The Best Way to get all the LAME features of
DreamHost plus all the AWESOME admin skills of YOURSELF.

Except wait! You're not an ADMIN (some of you). And DreamHost is not
really THAT bad.. now that we fixed our network problems (see eight
below). That was not a subliminal ad for the movie (with Paul Walker),
that was to point you to section #8 below. (Snow dogs are cute.)

What I'm saying is, maybe you DON'T need root access to a server to be
happy. Maybe you just need your own "shared" machine.. just not actually
shared with anybody else. And maybe, just maybe, you've got $395/month
burning a hole in your butt.

In which case, "Shedicated" hosting is for you! OR, as the less creative
call it, "Strictly Business Enhanced":

http://www.dreamhost.com/hosting-dedicated.html

Get all the FUN of your own server, but without having to deal with any
of the DUMB. Apart from the fact you'll still get this newsletter.

And THAT is a SUPER feature, desu ne?


########################################################################
3. Down with DRM? Up with Files! Forever!

Nah, I didn't think so EITHER.

What would be REALLY super is if there was an iTunes-like digital store
that didn't put any DRM on their songs and let you re-download them if
you ever lost them. Or, if there were an online file backup service
where you only had to pay once, instead of monthly, THAT'D be super. Or
ACTUALLY, if DreamHost offered an easy way to email large files to my
friends. Now THAT would be super.

But all three, in one, that'd be complicated, stupid and POOPER.

Well, you know me. All in three!

https://files.dreamhost.com/

Try it now while it's still in BETA.. before it gets GOOD!

Oh, and if my NEWSLETTER doesn't make any SENSE:

http://blog.dreamhost.com/2006/10/03/itunes-music-sore

For those who like pictures. And don't already have it all RSS-ified up!


########################################################################
4. RSS Feeds? The Discussion Board!

RSS? On the Discussion board? Yes; it's true, "REALLY SUPER SYNDICATION"
is here at last, here at least, thank lord almighty, it's here at last!

http://discussion.dreamhost.com/wwwthreads.pl

See all those little orange peels all over the place? That's some super
feature for yah.


########################################################################
5. Who needs catch-alls? Not+you@dreamhost.com!

I think we've already had more than our fair share of totally awesome
features for the month of September, plus three days, but I've been
wrong once before (I'm sure of it).

Which is why it never hurts to add a few more not-your-run-of-the-mill
features. Say for example, this one... a feature I'm pretty darn sure NO
OTHER WEBHOST ON THE PLANET OFFERS. And I say this after literally years
of checking:

Starting right now, all your email addresses have a sneaky new feature:

Built-in catchalls!

How does it work? It's easy! For every email address we host you can add
a + sign and then ANYTHING before the @, and it'll go to the same place.

So, if you have an email address like say:

josh@ilovemoneyandbunnies.com

The following addresses now all go to the same place:

josh+ferrets@ilovemoneyandbunnies.com
josh+jones@ilovemoneyandbunnies.com
josh+dreamhost_spams_dont_they@ilovemoneyandbunnies.com

What's the point of that?

Well, now every time you have to give out your email address to somebody
you hate, you tell them it's got a + in it and then some unique
identifier like:

josh+damnyousteve@ilovemoneyandbunnies.com

And then when they start spamming you some day, you can easily set up
your mailbox to auto-delete messages sent to that address!

SUPER? More than its fair share.


########################################################################
6. Transferring a .com? .net? You need an auth code!

Finally, the feature we've all been waiting for! I know you saw it up
there in the table of contents and were just DYING to get to it! But you
had to wade through all that other stuff first, because to skip around
like that would be like getting a Mona Lisa beach towel.

It would violate the sanctity of my art.

I thank you for respecting my wishes, and reading this newsletter in the
order it was originally intended.

You will not be disappointed. And I will make you wait no longer..

It's TRUE, .com and .net are finally switching to EPP.. which means
within the next few weeks (it should be by October 15th) to transfer a
.com or .net domain *REGISTRATION* you'll need to get an auth code from
your existing registrar.

You can see your existing auth codes for domains registered through us
already at:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=domain.transfer

Finally, you can relax. The superest of all supery features is past us.


########################################################################
7. Old Charities? New Charities!

Sigh, it seems like it's been like a quarter of a year since we had a
post like THIS in the newsletter. I'm getting all doe-eyed. SNIFF.

We're switching up the charities available for you to donate to and get
your donations matched by us at:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.charity

The first place we're letting you donate to is "Defective By Design" ..
the ones who are having a "Day Against DRM" which is what INSPIRED our
"Files Forever" service. At least to be launched today, probably a good
three to five years before it's ready.

http://defectivebydesign.org/

The other place we'll match you up on is "Santa's Helpers" (of Gonzales
County, Texas, for some reason) .. a place that'll help get some kids
some presents this Christmas if you give them some money. At the rate we
change charities, I figured NOW IS THE TIME.

http://www.santas-helpers.org/

In retrospect, in July-September we got $904.21 from 36 people for the
World Wildlife fund, matched it, and also got $383.32 from 17 people for
The Colorectal Cancer Coalition, and decided to match that too.

Aw...


########################################################################
8. Network problems? Fixed!

Do you know I actually moved this section to number eight just so I
could do that LAME eight below joke above? I now realize how pitiful
that is. In fact, this whole section is nothing more than a cheesy way
to bulk up this newsletter to be more SUPER after last month's dismal
excuse for a newsletter darkened your e-mailbox.

All I've got to say here is really, we've turned the corner and the
performance and stability problems we had much of the last two months
are slowly fading into the setting sun. Literally. I'm not sure how it
could be literal, but I always like it when football announcers say
stuff like, "He literally knocked his head off on that hit!"

Anyway, Dallas splained it all a couple of weeks ago on ZE BLOG:

http://blog.dreamhost.com/2006/09/19/anatomy-of-a-disaster-part-2/

SUPER?!

########################################################################
9. DHSOTM? DHSOTM!

Finally, the REAL secret of this month's newsletter has been revealed!

The DreamHost Site of the Month winner is none other than:

http://www.santas-helpers.org/

Look familiar? I promise, they actually won! In fact, that's why I made
them a charity. Believe it or not, I wrote this section before section
number 7. That's just the way my artistic soul had me do it. I can't
control it. I just have to be happy I've been blessed with such a gift
and do my best to share it with the world.

Get your own site all popular and make lots of money, bunny:

https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm

That's what I'd do, if my soul weren't just in it for the love of my
craft.


########################################################################
Now THAT'S a newsletter?
Josh Jones!

Now NOT a newsletter?

https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact

Unsubscribe, foo'!